Not Happy, John

Prime Minister John Key debased himself and the country on the Late Show with David Letterman yesterday.

"Somebody" apparently, is calling this humiliation a "coup" which means that some of his Public Relations lackeys have written a press release and the media has swallowed it whole.

And I say this, of course, because 90% of the news we read/see/hear, is press releases. Which is 99.9% true, but on the whole... a topic for another time.

So back to John Key. Prime Minister. And now, trivial amusement.

The Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd goes on Rove McManus's show in his own country, and that is a huge gesture. It is heart-warming that he steps out of his comfort zone, remains, dignified, squirms when having to tackle the obligatory question of homosexuality (Rudd is quite a devout Christian)... but there's a latitude, because is the PM exposing himself to his own nation with a respectful host who is invested in the country under discussion - Australia.

Mr John Key, however, with David Letterman... There is no affection. There is no relationship or investment with his audience. It is 100% ass-lickery, playing the jester for the benefit of a off-humour dweeb and his ignorant audience who couldn't care less about New Zealand, but it makes them feel special and powerful to have some hick travel from across the world and perform in their off-Broadway court. It was practically medieval. If they'd been eating, the crowd would have thrown bones just to watch our Prime Minister fight the dogs for the right to eat them off the floor.

For tourism, they say. Huge, HUGE coup! Well, I hope so. There's not much worse for a prostitute than when the client won't pay up afterward. Cos that's what it was. Whoring. Selling his status as our leader, the pinnacle any NZer can hope to achieve, in the hope of a few bucks.

Or necrophilia, cos hoping for tourism from the US - that's a dead horse. At the rate their dollar's bombing, well have dollar parity by the end of the year, and the recession (or the next one that is a micro-blip away, if you want to be pedantic) will keep Americans at home, holidaying at home.

Ultimately, I don't blame John - he looked as nervous as hell. I think, somewhere inside, he knew it was the wrong thing, doing his folksy campaign-trail thing on the international stage. I hope he reflects on this and realises a country's culture and democratic history -its prestige - goes far deeper than some some marketing line or gag image.

I blame those soulless suit-advisors around him, and hope he fires every one of them.